Forget All the Artisanal Fromage: France's Potato Chips Are Absolutely Depraved.
I recently found myself in the French countryside, an area that appeared displaying impeccable manners. Elegant, shimmering illuminations, outdoor market stands piled high with exquisitely fresh fruit and vegetables, and such an abundance of fromage that could line the entire Channel Tunnel with cholesterol. Heaping dishes of glistening shellfish atop ice beds visible behind steamy café panes. As I watched a extended but civil line of elegant residents collecting their handmade yule logs, I thought, disloyally, that my place of origin, York, which turns into a present-day version of a tableau of excess over the holidays with e-cigarettes tasting of mincemeat and BuzzBallz, might benefit from several tips.
The Elegant Facade
However this entire “art de vivre” business is just a refined front – France succumbs just as easily to its most primal cravings similar to everywhere else. Simply step inside any grocery store and the truth is revealed. The potato chip section constitutes a temple of indulgence, stacked with the likes of blue cheese, chickpea fritter, Flemish stew and salted butter profiles. What kind of person consumes a fried potato snack flavoured like dairy spread? It’s like a product found at those infamous American fairs where they deep fry sticks of butter. One popular comic recently claimed they represent the pinnacle of snacking she’s ever tasted, but she’s obviously been influenced by some kind of Breton brainwashing – she grew up in *Bretagne*.
International Unregulation
I know the crisp flavouring industry worldwide operates with as few rules as major tech firms. Nobody seems willing to permit the tuber to taste of itself, embellished as it should be by a modest application of seasoning. The UK boasts a checkered past with crisp flavours across Britain, particularly during the festive period. Not long ago, let us not forget, introduced gingerbread Doritos and exclusive steak-and-pâté flavoured chips. And who could forget the instance where a well-known shop believed “festive fizz and berries” constituted a desirable taste in a salty crisp? I expected more from the home of haute cuisine.
What is the logical conclusion? Foie gras crisps? Cream puff crisps? Tobacco-flavoured chips? I must cease, before I accidentally suggest the next big thing.
