Ex- English skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his present health, his family and making preparations for when the illness worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I deal with matters in another way, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he added.
First Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the condition, a set of scans showed neural pathways in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this condition identification of MND and we're understandably very moved about it, but it's quite odd because I think everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't sense ill. I don't sense poorly
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I'm still competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Condition Development
MND can progress swiftly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of detection, as ingestion and breathing become harder.
Therapy can only retard worsening.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Conversing from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and began cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the priority was being in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly focused on just embracing and savoring all aspects now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been very fortunate that the sole decision I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those years back."
Player Connection
Professional athletes are excessively affected by MND, with research proposing the incidence of the condition is up to six times greater than in the wider community.
It is believed that by restricting the air obtainable and producing damage to neural pathways, regular, intense training can trigger the disease in those inherently vulnerable.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering method to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a training-ground altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a tackle pad and began throwing himself into tackles.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the set piece in the decisive phase of play, setting a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing field goal.
Assistance Community
Moody has already informed Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a handful of other former colleagues about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of love and acknowledgment that people are there is what's important," he stated.
"This game is such a excellent group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to call your love your career, it's one of the most important privileges.
"To have done it for so considerable a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will wish to support in any way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
